i haven't been posting lately because i want to get all caught up with past events before i post something of the present. but today is my grandpapa's birthday...well of his earth life anyway. i was thinking about that the other day..i wonder, for those who have died and moved on, if they celebrate the day they were born into the next part of life? :) i think i would :)

so..

to my grandpapa :),

or as you are known to my kiddos paka paka :) we miss you and maga maga a lot! i haven't been able to open your memory book or grandma's book either that mom made. i've tried but it's all just too sad right now. but i will work on that because i'm sure it will be very fun to look threw :) i'm trying not to be too sad because i'm prettie positive that you and grandma are happie! :) but it has been a little difficult moving back home and driving past your house, seeing the places on the garage where your name once was, now just empty grey squares and realizing the place where i feel i spent a good part of my child hood i can no longer enter. and even if i could you wouldn't be there sitting in your chair watching golf or reading the news paper or books about the navy or eating your oatmeal as you did every morning from the same bowl. no longer can i hear you sing with your hand stretched out with a smile " i wanna hold your hand" :) i knew that part of that song from the beattles even before i knew who the beattles were :) how i wish i had that recorded so i could listen to it every time i want to feel close to you :)

so today joshie, the three kiddos and me will be visiting yours and grandma's grave. although it may be a little far to travel if you and grandma could swing by we'd love it! :) and we love you both!!!!!!!!! :) happie day of birth grandpa! :) what a fun birthday to be with your wife you had to wait over 16 years to see again and your two baby boys that you waited even longer to be with! :) we love you all!!!!!!! :) xx's & oo's :)

p.s.

i'm verie glad you came to earth & that you are my paka! :) and i wanna hold your hand ;)

joshua :),
you bring me more joy in this life than i thought was possible :) i still feel myself becoming giddy when i see you walk up to the door returning home from work :) it is when you are happie that i find myself at my happiest! :) some times it is as if you control all the elements of life because my life revolves around your well being and happieness :) i see in you the best that human kind has to offer :) and divine potential :) you are my sun and my moon :) my earth and my sky :) you are so much apart of me that i at times wonder where i end and you begin! :) i love you soo much that there are no words in the human language to express my feelings fully :) i am so blessed to have you as my husband, the father of our children, my companion in mischief and my verie best friend! :) happiest of birthdays babie! :) i love you with out end!!!!!!!!!! :)

julie :)

right now i am really confused about what are next steps in life are.....

we will be moving back to spokane for, i don't know how long... until we figure things out or start one of our plans there :)

i know i want to go to byu hawaii and i will have some work ahead of me to even start school which we are thinking of starting in spokane & then going from there

or does joshie go to grad school?

or does joshie take a short course to get a higher paying job & then i go to school?

& where do we do all of this?

questions????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

questions???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

questions?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

and i don't think we will have it figured out any time soon

in a good way :) we will figure it out when the time is right ;)

until then we have packing, moving! two weddings to attend! & help out with & lots of reading, praying & researching what it takes for the things we want & discovering our best options :)

it will be fun! :)

joshie jokes but in a truthful way that in a couple of weeks we will be homeless & unemployed :) but we have a place to stay ;) thank you momma & daddio! :) you guys are AWESOME!! :)

oh! and i have recently had some ideas for me to work at home that almost seem to have dropped from heaven & planted itself into my mind! :) but i will have to learn how to sow better ;) i'll explain later ;) right now i should probably get back to moving stuff :) man! i will have a lot to get caught up on in august! ;)

until then LOVE & PEACE TO ALL!!!!!!!! :)

i was lying in bed this morning thinking about something in my grandma's life and a question came up and i thought, i'll ask grandpa about it! :) then the next moment i remembered that he's not here for me to ask questions to any more.
i was a little sad at first, but then i felt happie :)

whenever i start feeling sad about my grandpa passing away these sad feelings are soon chased away by feelings of happieness because i think of how wonderful of a reunion he had when he was able to see and talk to his wife and two babies again! :)
i miss him but life is never ending! :) it just changes :) in a good way :)

and some day when joshie and me are old and white haired he and grandma and my two uncles will be waiting there to greet us :) along with all sorts of other dear family members and friends! :) oooo! and all sorts of ancesters and people that i would LOVE to talk to! :) i have a list of those people that i would love to learn from after this earth life! :)

ok i have been kinda sick lately ( nothing bad :) and i have some catching up to do, but i wanted to post a link to a great video that joshua made for a contest that ends soon. it's AWESOME!!! :) joshie is so talented! :) we didn't get the video entered in the contest as soon as we would have liked, so we are a little nervous about getting enough votes to get into the top 20 voted entries. (the first round of voting) so any help would be GREATLY APPRECIATED!!!!!!! :) it is a one time vote :) and THANKS SO MUCH!!! if you have already voted :) and if you are going to vote, THANKS SO MUCH to you too!!!!! :) also i was wondering if those of you who like the video too could pass the link along to others, that would be FANTASTIC!!!!!! :) and if any one who has a blog and wouldn't mind putting the link on their blog that would be AWESOME!!! :) i know i'm kinda Crazie Excited about it, but this is one of the first video contest where the video is what joshua wants to do..documentary :) well i hope every one is having a SUPER FANTABULOUS week end!! :) love and peace to ALL!!!!!!!!! :)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3XIOwhQEEU